How’s THAT for Love?
by Lord Raa
Summary: A series of smutty one shots from your fiend, Lord Raa.
1. Chapter 1

How's THAT for Love?

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: Of course it doesn't come with fucking wafers!

* * *

Nodoka sighed as she realised that her cursed yet manly son actually had no idea what love actually was. The copper-haired woman rubbed her temples, as she pondered the best way to help her only child. When her stomach rumbled, she snorted softly in amusement. "I can see where Ranma gets his appetite."

Deciding that she wasn't in the mood to cook herself that evening, Nodoka picked up the phone to order some food for delivery.

"Goddess Relief Office, how may I help you?" a sultry, yet pleasant voice asked.

"Err, I do apologise, I seem to have misdialled."

"Not at all, I'll be there right away."

Nodoka blinked in surprise at the unexpected response, but quickly recovered to replace the handset.

Moments later, a pair of well tanned, shapely legs appeared from the television.

"Greetings, Nodoka Saotome, I'm Urd, Norn of the Past and Goddess of Love. I'm here to grant you a wish. What is your heart's desire?" the platinum haired beauty asked as she posed for her host.

The housewife was suitably impressed by the goddess's entrance and took a few moments to regain her senses. "I'm sorry; did you say that you're here to grant me a wish?"

"Yes," Urd nodded. "I can grant you almost any wish. I can't destroy the world, kill people or raise the dead. But aside from that, we can do anything you want."

Nodoka digested that piece of information. "I'm worried about my son, Ranma. He's not had the easiest of upbringings, you see and I'm not sure he knows what love is. Perhaps you could show him?"

"That's not an unreasonable request," the goddess mused. "What's he look like?"

Nodoka found a rare photo of her son in his uncursed form and handed it to her guest. "This is him."

Urd smiled when she saw the shirtless youth in mid kata. "Just say tell me what your wish is and I can get started with this."

"I wish that you could make it so my son was capable of showing his fiancées love in an adult fashion," the kimono clad woman said in a sincere tone.

A pillar of light burst forth from the tanned beauty and a mysterious wind started to move small objects around the room.

"WISH GRANTED!"

Urd dropped to the floor panting. "I'll never get used to that."

"Are you all right, Urd-san?" Nodoka asked having rushed to her side.

"Yes, just give me a few minutes and some sake. Alcohol helps me recharge my internal batteries," the platinum haired immortal explained.

A few minutes and several gulps of sake later, Urd was back to normal. "So then, Nodoka-san, when does Ranma get home?"

"He should be here soon." And to prove her point, the front door opened.

"Hi Mom, I'm home."

"Ranma, could you come in here for a few moments?" the copper haired housewife asked.

"What is it, Mom?" the pigtailed Saotome asked as he entered the common room.

"Ranma, this is Urd, she's going to teach you a few things that your father has neglected."

"Like what?"

"Well," Urd started, "you're a skilled martial artist, one of the best in the world, I'm led to believe, but your experience is a bit lacking in some areas."

"And?" Ranma asked, obviously not impressed with his mother's visitor.

"Well, I'm not sure that you're capable of expressing your affection for someone without insulting them," the goddess explained. "Akane Tendo, for example."

"You leave that tomboy out of this," the cursed individual growled angrily.

"That's our point, son," Nodoka added. "When you get married, how are you going to talk to your wife if you can't help insulting her?"

Ranma paused. "You're right. Where do we start?"

"Let's talk in private, shall we?" the bronze-skinned beauty smiled.

"Yes, you talk in your room, Ranma, and I'll make dinner," Mrs. Saotome said with a smile.

* * *

A rather reluctant Ranma showed Urd to his Spartan room. "Here, what are you going to show me?"

"Do you know anything about women, Ranma?" Urd asked as she sat on the bed.

"I know that they don't like having their boobs grabbed," the pigtailed youth muttered angrily as he recalled his earlier that day when Kuno grabbed his cursed form's chest.

"That's a start, I suppose," the sexy goddess muttered. "Anything else?"

"Peeing while standing up can mean peeing on your shoes," the cursed martial artist added with a blush.

"How do you know that?"

"I," Ranma sighed. "I've got a curse. Cold water turns me into a girl, hot changes me back."

"A Jusenkyo curse?" Urd hazarded.

"Yeah, you ever hear of a cure for them?" the blue-eyed martial artist asked, hope audible but not completely permeating his voice.

"Sorry, no," the platinum haired lovely sadly shook her head.

"Looks like I'm stuck like this forever," Ranma sighed.

Urd smiled as she reached out and stroked Ranma's arm sympathetically before getting back to her task at hand. "What do you know about love?"

The young Saotome's features hardened as alarm bells rang in his head. "What do you mean? You ain't a fiancée are you?"

"No, not at all, Ranma," the goddess insisted. "I just need to know what you know so I can start your lessons at the right point. Have you ever had sex before?"

"Sex?"

"Yes, as in sexual intercourse."

"And that is?" Ranma asked, confusion clearly written on his face.

"You know – the traditional method of making babies. Has anyone ever told you about what the entails?"

"No," the blue-eyed martial artist admitted. "Why, is it important?"

"It's the reason why some people get out of bed in the morning," Urd replied with slightly disbelieving look on her face. "Have you ever been around naked girls?"

"Shampoo's snuck into my bed a couple of times, and there's the times in the bathroom…"

"I see. So you're still a virgin. Sit next to me and I'll show you how some adults express their love," the tanned beauty smiled. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

"I'm not sure about this," Ranma said as he nervously eyed the door.

"You're not afraid of me are you?"

"I ain't afraid of nothing!" the pigtailed martial artist growled.

"Then prove it."

"How?" asked Ranma.

"Let me show you how to make love to a woman."

"And why would I what to do that?" the young Saotome asked cautiously. His dealings with Nabiki had taught him that always rushing in was a bad thing.

"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing," Urd answered with a grin. "Just 1) strip naked, 2) get on your bed and 3) do as I tell you. Trust me on this one, you won't regret it."

Suppressing the urge to flee Tokyo and never return, the pigtailed martial artist began to disrobe.

The goddess appraised her student. "It's been a while since I had such tasty looking beefcake."

"What was that?"

"Nothing," the platinum haired immortal replied. "Just thinking out loud," was added with a wince.

"Oh, ok," the now naked Ranma shrugged, the movement of his body drawing Urd's attention to his well muscled physique. "Now what?"

The shapely goddess wiped the trail of drool from the corner of her mouth as her student took a seat on the bed. "Where shall we start? I know, I'll undress too."

Ranma was treated to the sight of the bronzed-skinned Urd standing before him clad in a black lacy bra and thong panties set that hinted that the beautiful woman's "carpets matched the drapes" to quote a term that had been bandied about at school.

"Who are you really? Why are you doing this?" Ranma asked, having had a few minutes to gather his wits.

"I'm Urd; I'm not from around these parts. While your mother declared you to be manly, she wanted me to help you with a few things." The lingerie wearing goddess sat on Ranma's lap. "It's all well and good attracting your girlfriends, but if you can't make them happy in the bedroom, what good is it?"

"Why are you sitting on me lap?" the pigtailed youth gulped.

"I thought that we could talk about the first thing that came up," the platinum haired beauty whispered into his ear. She shifted her weight, allowing the silky smooth texture of her buttocks and upper thighs to rub against her student's bare skin.

Urd frowned when she noticed that Ranma didn't seem to react. "Is something wrong, Ranma?"

The Saotome heir whimpered as the effects of years of repressed hormones started to break through his discipline.

Wrapping her long, slender legs around Ranma's waist and pressing her full and firm cleavage against his chest, Urd grinned as she noticed that she was indeed having some effect at last. 'So he does like girls.'

"Well then, shall we start with foreplay?"

"What's foreplay?" was the predictable response from the pigtailed youth.

'That's something Nodoka was worried about,' the goddess thought sadly. "I think that it'd be best if I showed you."

Urd kissed Ranma on the mouth, her tongue forcing its way past his lips and taking the cursed martial artist by surprise. As she did this, her fingers traced patterns on the muscled chest in front of her.

After a few minutes, Ranma broke for air. "What are you trying to do to me?"

"Make you a man," Urd replied as she pushed Ranma onto his back and straddled his hips. "You are 'man among men', aren't you?"

She kissed him again cutting off his response, though this time Ranma seemed more receptive to the self-proclaimed love goddess's advances.

The Saotome heir realised that he needed to do something or Urd would continue to have her way with him. 'But what do I do, I can't just grab her chest… or can I?'

Reaching out, Ranma gently caressed the sides of his visitor's impressive breasts, hoping that he'd tickle the platinum bombshell so she'd break the kiss.

Unfortunately, Urd took her student's initiative in a different manner than it was intended. 'Perhaps he's not as shy as I thought…'

Breaking for air, the goddess smiled. "You have a delicate touch, Ranma. I was expecting you to be more of a groper than a caresser."

Ranma looked puzzled at the scantily clad woman's words until he noticed that his thumbs were circling her hardened nipples.

"Ack! I didn't mean to touch you like this!" the pigtailed youth insisted as he tried to pull his hands away from the lace covered chest.

"I don't think so, Ranma," Urd replied, keeping the calloused hands in place. "You're going to finish this lesson even if it kills you. Now, let me do something for you."

Pinning his well-muscled arms above Ranma's head, the platinum bombshell started to place a series of light kisses and licks across the restrained martial artist's torso until she reached his groin.

Looking up, Urd smiled. "Trust me on this one; I know what I'm doing."

Ranma didn't exactly look relieved at the hungry grin on his visitor's face, but nodded anyway.

Moments later, the premier teenaged martial artist in Nerima was gasping in pleasure as Urd began to work her magic.

* * *

Downstairs, Nodoka smiled when she heard the sounds of energetic lovemaking. Her smile widened when Urd started to scream out her son's name in the throes of their lesson in the carnal arts.

"My son is truly manly if he can satisfy a goddess of love," the housewife said happily as she sipped her tea.

After draining her cup, she looked at the clock. "They've been at that for some time," Nodoka mused. "I hope that Urd-san's all right…"

* * *

Back in Ranma's bedroom, Urd was indeed all right. In fact, she was having the most fun she'd had on the mortal plane for a VERY long time.

"YES! RANMA! DON'T STOP!" the platinum bombshell screamed as Ranma thrust into her from behind.

The pigtailed youth reached out to start kneading the impressive, tanned chest of his latest sensei. This additional stimulus was enough to send the Norn of the Past over the edge.

"AAH! AAH! YESS!"

Moments later, Ranma finished up with a powerful thrust and the sweaty, sated pair collapsed on the bed.

"I can't believe you're this good after half a lesson," Urd panted disbelievingly. "I only showed you where your penis is supposed to go."

"I was always a quick learner," the blue-eyed martial artist replied. "So what happens now? 'Cos I'm kinda hungry."

The goddess was slightly stunned that Ranma still had the energy to move after their exertion. "I think that some people roll over and go to sleep. Failing that, I think you should wash up before you go downstairs."

"Ok," Ranma nodded as he gathered his clothes. "You know, this was fun. I wish we could do things like this everyday."

"You're not the only one," Urd smiled warmly.

* * *

After showering, Ranma descended the stairs to see that his mother had a visitor.

"Ah, Ranma, we need to talk about your fiancée," Nodoka said with slightly embarrassed look on her face.

"What? Another one?" the pigtailed you asked, somewhat hurt by the fact that he'd got yet another girl with a claim to his hand in marriage. "Who did Pops scam for what this time?"

"This one's not your father's fault," the man in the charcoal suit insisted. "I'm here because of an arrangement you made."

"Oh yeah?" Ranma asked suspiciously. "And when did I do this?"

"Several years ago, you helped three sisters and to repay you for risking your life to save them, they agreed that one of them would marry you."

"This is the first I've heard about this!"

"Well," the man was cut off by the arrival of Urd. "Urd, I didn't know that you knew your fiancé."

"Fiancé? What are you talking about?" the tanned beauty asked. "I think I'd remember having a fiancé."

"Well, this was a while ago, but your father approved."

The phone started to ring and the commanding voice on the other end of the line asked for Urd.

"Yes?"

"¬Urd, this is your father speaking. You're to get married to Ranma Saotome.¬"

"What? Why?" the platinum haired goddess demanded.

"¬Because you have been interfering with your sister's relationship. I think that we need to keep you out of Belldandy's hair for a while.¬"

Urd winced. "I was only trying to help them get along better."

"¬I know, Urd, I know. But Ranma needs a special woman. You are up to the task aren't you?¬"

"Of course! In fact, thanks to my expert tutelage, Ranma's showing incredible aptitude."

There was a deep, pleasant laughter. "¬Yes, I saw that.¬"

For the first time in countless years, Urd blushed heavily. "Y-you saw that?"

"¬I see everything, for better or worse,¬" baritone voice said with a shudder.

"Father?"

"¬Don't ask. But in case you're wondering, I set this up to keep you out of Keiichi's hair and help out that poor Saotome kid. By the way, I think he's interested in marrying you…¬"

"Ranma wants to marry me?" the goddess blurted out.

"Yes!" Ranma nodded, his cheeks coloured. "So we can do what we did earlier again and again."

"Well, since you put it that way, let's go have our second lesson!" Urd declared as she hung up the phone.

"Good," the martial artist smiled as he grabbed his latest fiancée by the hand and dragged her upstairs.

"Well, since that's all sorted, I'll bid you good day, Mrs. Saotome."

When the charcoal-suited man left, Nodoka rushed to the phone to her rival in the Great Grandbaby Race.

Dialling a phone number, the copper-haired woman swelled with pride as she waited for Yui to pick up.

"Yui, it's Nodoka, I'm just calling you up to tell you that my manly son just had sex with a beautiful woman. And she wasn't even his fiancée until TWO minutes ago!"

"¬What? Damn. Well, Shinji's going to have a threesome tonight!¬" the flustered woman insisted.

"Shinji'll never go for that and you know it."

* * *

The End…

Well, that wasn't much, but what are you going to do about it? Well, you could wait for me to write the full lemon version with graphic details about what Ranma and Urd got up to.

Until laterer comes, you crazy diamonds!


	2. Chapter 2

How's THAT for Love?

By Lord Raa

* * *

Disclaim-me-do: Chocolate? Before the performance?

* * *

Kasumi sighed before she started to clear up the dishes from breakfast. It wasn't that her family were particularly selfish, but they never helped around the house.

Akane tried to help out with the cooking, but well, the least said about that the better.

Ranma was a more competent aide, but his assistance was infrequent due to other commitments. Commitments like fending off challengers and rivals, avoiding cutting his own stomach open and trying to keep the havoc caused by Nabiki to a minimum.

Nabiki's assistance was even rarer than Akane's edible meals.

As she stacked up the dishes, the brunette sighed again, oblivious to Ranma's entry into the kitchen.

"Is something wrong, Kasumi?" he asked.

"Oh, Ranma-kun, you surprised me," Kasumi replied. "What makes you think that something is wrong?"

"Well, there's the fact that your posture is different to yesterday and I heard you sigh," the martial artist answered. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

"It's alright, Ranma-kun," the homemaker insisted.

"No, it's not, Kasumi. I'm not the smartest of guys, but even I can see that something's not right here. The least you can do is let me help with the dishes."

"Well, if you insist," Kasumi smiled as she stepped aside. "So, what do you have planned for today, Ranma-kun?"

"Nothing really; I've done the morning practice, but I don't feel like going out with Akane and Nabiki. And Pops and Mr. Tendo are doing some training thing, so I'm kinda just staying in today," the pigtailed young man answered. After a moment, he added, "Kinda bored already though. What about you, Kasumi?"

"Well, I don't really need to do much housework today, thanks to your help yesterday. So after washing the dishes, I'm in a similar position to you, Ranma-kun."

Ranma nodded, and started to wash the rice bowls.

There was a comfortable silence as the two worked through their chore. After a few minutes of this, Kasumi started to cast a few furtive glances at her assistant, trying to understand why Ranma attracted so many girls.

Sure, his father had a large part to play for this situation, but if they weren't interested in Ranma, then they would have told him so and left him alone.

Kasumi looked at the way Ranma's strong arms were diligently washing delicate pieces of pottery. She zoned out for a moment and only just caught herself reaching out to give his right bicep a squeeze.

Blushing heavily, the brunette turned her attention to drying up the teacups, hoping that Ranma hadn't noticed what she'd nearly done.

"There we go, we're all done," Ranma declared as he rinsed off the last of the washing up. "I suppose that once I help with the drying up and putting away, we'll be bored together."

"I guess so," Kasumi smiled. "I think it would be nice to sit outside on the porch, don't you?"

The pigtailed martial artist was about to say yes, when he noticed that there were a few spots of rain on the window. "Well, it would have been nice if the sun had stayed out."

"Oh bother," the homemaker sighed when she saw the rain start to fall. She turned to face Ranma, who didn't look particularly bothered by the turn in the weather. "What shall we do instead?"

Ranma shrugged. "We can do anything you like, Kasumi. I don't really mind what we do today."

Kasumi's mind tried to come up with something to do, but it kept coming up blank. At least it did for the time it took to finish putting away the dishes.

As the brunette watched Ranma bend over, to put the rice cooker away in a cupboard, a thought entered her mind and refused to leave, despite her attempts to shift it.

Ranma turned to face Kasumi, who was blushing. "Is something wrong, Kasumi?"

"I… e-everything is f-fine, Ranma-kun."

The martial artist wasn't so sure. 'She's blushing like the girls in my class did the time my shirt came off in gym...'

That was when realisation hit Ranma. "Kasumi, were you staring at my butt?"

"I-I-I…" Kasumi stammered, unable to look Ranma in the eye. "…yes…"

The cursed teenager shook his head. "Kasumi, how would you like it if I stared at you butt or chest?"

Unable to control herself, the homemaker blurted out her response in a quiet voice. "If you want to…"

Ranma's jaw dropped. "K-k-Kasumi?"

"It's not what you think, Ranma-kun," Kasumi insisted, her cheeks burning red. "I was just, err… remembering a line I read in a book once…"

"Really? Well, what happened next? Did the guy step up to the girl like this?" the martial artist asked as he invaded the brunette's personal space. "Did he lean in like this to kiss her?"

"N-no…"

"Oh, I see."

"He took his shirt off first," Kasumi elaborated, her blush intensifying further.

Ranma stepped back. "Are you asking me to take off my shirt?"

"Maybe…"

The brunette found her feet most interesting after her latest admission. She wasn't sure what to say or do next for fear of making things worse.

'Though,' she admitted to herself, 'I don't know what "worse" is in this case…'

Summoning strength from some unknown source, Kasumi took a deep breath and looked Ranma in the eye. "P-please follow me, Ranma-kun."

"Where to?" Ranma asked as he followed Kasumi out of the kitchen.

"It… it's more appropriate to do this in my b-b-bedroom…" the homemaker replied, her voice quivering with embarrassment.

The journey to Kasumi's room was completed in silence, as Ranma wondered if they were doing the right thing.

The sound for the door locking shut brought the martial artist out of his reverie.

"Kasumi?"

"I… I want you to take off your shirt, Ranma-kun," the brunette said. "P-please."

Ranma hesitated, but couldn't find any real reason to refuse Kasumi of all people. "Sure thing."

Kasumi idly noticed that her lips were suddenly feeling dry as she watched Ranma strip to the waist. "Oh my…"

"So, what happens now?" the martial artist asked.

"Well, I… think we were recreating that scene I read," the brunette replied. "You're supposed to k-kiss me…"

Ranma smiled cockily before kissing softly Kasumi on the lips. His eyes widened when he felt the homemaker's hands start to caress his back. He broke the kiss when he was surprised by the way his ass had been grabbed.

"Now that's not fair, Kasumi," the shirtless man chided. "I don't mind you seeing me without my shirt on, and I liked kissing you, but you can't just grab my butt like that."

"Y-you're right, Ranma-kun. W-would you like to s-see me without my d-dress on?" Kasumi blushed heavily.

"It would only be fair."

The brunette slipped out of her floral patterned dress, allowing it to pool at her feet. For a moment, she tried desperately to avoid looking at Ranma, unsure of what his reaction would be to seeing her standing in her plain white bra and panties.

The martial artist saw this and decided to express his opinion with a passionate kiss.

Kasumi was pleasantly surprised when Ranma's tongue teased her own, and after a minute she started to melt into his arms.

"Mmm…."

"Yeah," the cursed teenager smiled after breaking the kiss. "You like that, don't you?"

The brunette, unable to get her vocal cords to work properly nodded.

"Would you like to go further, Kasumi? It's up to you, but it's got to be fair…" Ranma said as he looked her in the eyes.

The homemaker nodded. "I… I've been curious about a man's… you know…"

"So you want to see me naked?"

Kasumi nodded. "P-please can I see you naked, Ranma-kun?"

"Only if I can see you naked, Kasumi," Ranma answered.

"Y-you f-first."

The martial artist nodded and quickly threw his black kung-fu pants and boxer shorts off, not caring where they landed in Kasumi's well-ordered room.

"Is everything to your liking, Kasumi?"

Unable to get her voice to work, the brunette nodded mutely.

Ranma saw that her brown eyes fixed on his crotch and smirked. "If you want more than just a look, Kasumi, it's your turn to get naked."

Kasumi licked her lips before nodding. In a smooth motion, she removed her bra, but was still self-conscious about letting a man see her naked body and covered her breasts with her arms. Her eyes widened in surprise when the pigtailed young man embraced her, pressing her ample chest against his well-muscled torso.

She had expected a reaction from Ranma, but one more along the lines of him groping her rather than him holding her so protectively.

"R-Ranma-kun?"

Ranma moved the brunette to a position to look her right in the eyes. "You shouldn't feel embarrassed about your body, Kasumi."

"B-but…"

"But nothing," the cursed teenager said, turning Kasumi around so she could see herself in the mirror. He cupped her full breasts with his strong, calloused hands. "Look at this body; if I'd known you had a body like this, I would have picked you as my fiancée when I arrived."

Kasumi's blush was a combination of Ranma's honest words and his fondling of her breasts. She gasped in surprise when she felt something press against her. "O-oh my…"

"Yeah, touching you brings out that kind of reaction in me, Kasumi-chan," Ranma whispered into the brunette's ear.

The pigtailed man moved his hands over Kasumi's flat stomach, tracing an invisible pattern around her navel with his fingertips. He smiled as caused the brunette to squirm in pleasure and rub her tight ass against his semi-erect cock.

"I think you're ready for the next stage, Kasumi-chan."

"Y-yes…" the homemaker moaned softly as her martial artist lover slowly removed her plain white cotton panties.

Ranma noticed that Kasumi had averted her eyes, seemingly ashamed to see her own nudity in the mirror. He turned her to face him and kissed her deeply, probing the inside of her mouth with his tongue.

Kasumi melted into Ranma's arms when she felt the martial artist slid a finger into her slick pussy. She broke the kiss, panting heavily. "R-Ranma-kun… t-take me…"

The cursed youth gently laid the brunette on her bed, kissing her jaw and neck. He shifted himself and gently thrust his throbbing erection into Kasumi, eliciting a long gasp of pleasure.

"Yes…" Kasumi panted as Ranma steadily increased his pace, revelling in every little sensation their actions provided. "YEEEESSSSS~~~~~!"

The martial artist was surprised by just how much his lover's slick hole had clamped around his cock when she climaxed, so much so that he lost his concentration and came inside her. "Whoa!"

"R-Ranma-kun," the brunette smiled, her sweat covered chest heaving, "Please hold me…"

"For you, Kasumi-chan, anything," Ranma smiled as he lay next to Kasumi and allowed her to snuggle up to him. They kissed each other on the lips.

"I love you, Ranma-kun."

"And I love you too, Kasumi-chan," the martial artist sighed contentedly.

Kasumi lifted herself up on to one elbow. "Ranma-kun…"

"What's wrong, Kasumi-chan?"

"Well, it's…" the brunette trailed off, still not completely at ease with the situation. She took a deep breath. "Next time we do some role-play, would you mind if I was the one doing the seducing?"

Ranma chuckled. "For my darling wife, anything."

* * *

The End

There, have some terrible, terrible cheap, poorly written smut that my pre-reader, Chi Vayne and shown to a couple of my other internet friends.

I told you all that this was a collection of smutty one-shots, but there is a small chance I could continue Ranma and Kasumi's role-play…

But I promise nothing.


End file.
